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14 January 2008 @ 18:22
1. Where the fuck is Waldo?

2. No. Where the fuck is Carmen San Diego?
 
 
22 July 2007 @ 20:54
Pimp  
1. As the White Stripes say "You can't be a pimp and a prostitute too". Very wise, because it's hard to pimp slap yourself.
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Current Music: Icky Thump- White Stripes
 
 
22 July 2007 @ 20:21
1. Don't kiss ass. Instead gently blow a flirtatious kiss in the general direction of the ass. That way you suck up, while still apperaing sincere. 

2. When there's an awkward pause in a conversation, just say "What sound does a platypus make?". guaranteeded to start a conversation. 
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19 July 2007 @ 18:34

The truth is like an elastic waistband: you can stretch it pretty far, but sooner or later it will either break or snap back at you.

 
 
18 July 2007 @ 00:35
1. Don't stick a poptart in the microwave for 5 minutes. Just a bad idea. 

2. Coolwhip melt in the microwave- so make sure it's in a bowl first

3. (fork + fried rice)* 3mins. in Microwave = BAD

4. water can super-heat in the microwave. aka- going beyond the boiling point in temperature without actually boiling. so make sure the water isn't superheated before sticking a teabag in the cup, or else the water will explode.

5. it's a good idea to cover tomato soup with ceran wrap. splatters are not fun to clean up.
 
 
 
17 July 2007 @ 18:23
1.  It's not cheating its creative sportsmanship or coperative learning. 

2.  Don't leave cans of soda in a freezer.

3.  Pepper in random/subliminal phrases into your speeches. "as you can see suckit we need to become..." "Did you know more cowbell that the Mongols of ancient asia..."  it makes life more interesting

4. When telling a group about yourself: elaborate. "Hi- I'm Laura,I;m a vampire, I moved to Cardiff in 2005, I like music, movies..."

5. Unless of course, your job depends on it. Then you should kiss ass.
 
 
Current Mood: creativecreative
 
 
1. At the midnight release of the 7th Harry Potter book, you will probably stand out if you don't dress up. 

2. Once you get the final book do not listen to the radio, tv, go on the interwebs, ect., because it will be ruin. 

3. If you decide to read the final chapter while walking out of the book store, getting in your car and shouting the ending to people in lines, make sure your car is fast, and your liscence plate is not visible. 

4. Not a good idea to dress up in a Slytherin outfit at the release. Gryffindors might mug you. 

5. Do not ruin the book for others. You will die a horrible, painful death. One that most likely involves boiling oil and  tar, dull rusty knives, nails, hot pokers/branding irons, and furbies.
 
 
Current Mood: awakeawake
 
 
15 July 2007 @ 14:57
1. Never use the phrase "You just want to have your cake and eat it too!" Because whoever thought up of that saying needs to be shot, brought back to life, and then shot again. Why else would you buy the cake if you weren't going to bloody eat it?

2. Learn to spell.  If you're of a certain religion, practice a certain lifestyle or are a huge fan of something, learn to spell the stuff correctly. Do you know how many times i see the word "vegetarian" misspelled on the vegetarian sites, or how many times voldemort is mispelled in HP fan sites????? No- you don't know.

3. Don't wear a white shirt to seaworld.

4. Learn to sleep with your eyes open. It's a good skill for your job.

5. Don't go to 4chan. Just don't.

6. Figure out that a bag of "peanuts" does indeed have peanuts in it. That way, the peanut company can stop printing "warning: bag may contain peanuts and/or nut oils." on that back of the bags.   No shit Sherlock.
 
 
Current Mood: apatheticapathetic